


Let You Down

by BrokynSyn



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BVB, Band Fic, Best Friends, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, Multi, Original Character(s), POV First Person, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5890552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokynSyn/pseuds/BrokynSyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade Graham has lost everything she has except her best friend. A once in a lifetime experience changes everything and not all in a good way, but even though the bad is so painfully bad can what happens next make the pain go away? </p>
<p>A Black Veil Brides fanfiction. Andy Biersack love story.</p>
<p>*As you can tell I suck at summaries.*</p>
<p>An Andy Biersack x Fan love story</p>
<p> </p>
<p>HEY GUYS!!!!  I AM EDITTING THIS FIC!!! ALL CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN TAKEN DOWN FOR EDITING. PLEASE DON'T PANIC I WILL BE PUTTING THEM BACK UP ONE BY ONE AS I EDIT. </p>
<p>I WILL GET THIS BACK OUT TO YOU AS QUICKLY AS I CAN WITH MORE CHAPTERS HOPEFULL. BARE WITH ME PLEASE I AM A PERFECTIONIST AND I NEED THIS FIC TO BE BRILLINT :)</p>
<p>TAGS TO COME.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Birthday Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy munchkins. This is my first time writing a BVB fiction I am looking forward to it though.   
> There is a few things I wanna make you aware of though. 
> 
> *First*   
> With the exception of the obvious, the main characters are Australian because I am and cause you don't see that very often. 
> 
> *Second*  
> #Small Spoilers#  
> In later chapters there will be some undesirable things written about Juliet. I just want to go on record I am actually a fan of hers I think she is wonderful but for the process of the story it has to be done. So any Simms or ALL fans out there that want to hate just be aware I don't mean the things I say or think that she would do the things she does in the story. It is a work of harmless fiction please try and enjoy it. 
> 
> *Third*   
> There will be parts that have trigger warnings. As the warning on the fic suggests there will be mention of rape and violence. 
> 
> *Other then that*  
> Please enjoy my piece of work. Feel free to comment, vote abd tell your friends I would love the attention.

_***Jade’s POV*** _

“Happy Birthday to yooouuuu!” My best friend Cara and her 3yr old son, Parker, sung to me.

“Blow out da candles, Aunty Jadie. Don't forget to make a wish.” Parker told me with a wide smile, probably more in excited anticipation of eating my cake then it being my birthday. Today was my 21st and I should be just as ecstatic as Parker but Australia’s legal age to drink and party is 18 and I have been doing it since I was 14, 21 just felt like another number, just another day in the calendar. Birthdays are meant to be spent with family, but I don’t really have a lot of family left, in fact the entire extent of my family was in the room with me right now. Just my best friend and her son, the constant memory that the people responsible for me being born to reach 21 aren't here to share it with me, it's a pretty sobering moment.

When Cara asked me if I would do a mini birthday party, at first, I refused but I knew that it would be more for Parker’s sake then for mine and I would do anything for that little man. His little smile has brightened my mind more then he could ever know or understand. I smiled at my ‘nephew’ as I lent towards the triple chocolate devil cake I insisted Cara buy me if I was going to have to go along with this birthday insanity, closed my eyes for-going the wish and blew out my candles. Cara cut Parker a small slice of cake and let him go nuts, Cara and I sat back and laughed that somehow the chocolate ended up quite literally all over the little boy’s face, arms and shirt; even in his hair. I never know how he manages to do it but it’s always impressive, although Cara doesn’t think so.

“Parker, how do you always do this?” Cara asked him as she tried to clean the crumbs of his lap before she helped him up from the table at the same time he planted a sloppy choccie kiss on her cheek. Cara screwed up her face but when Parker and I burst out laughing it was infectious and she couldn’t resist. “C’mon cutie, let’s go get you cleaned up then we can give Aunty Jade her pressies.” Cara giggled with a wink in my direction.

Cara has been my best friend since we were in high school though she is three years older than me, we almost immediately started to get along as soon as we met. It still confuses us in many ways how exactly we became so close, we have never really shared a lot in common but somehow our vast differences worked, and we just connected in a way that not even we were expecting. When my parents were killed in a car accident by a drunk driver when I was 16 she insisted that I move in with her with her, she has been my best friend and my only family ever since. When we moved to the city just after my graduation and Cara met Finn, Parker came the next year. Cara and Finn split when Parker was still a baby, but they remained as close as friends as she and I are. The same year I met the first man I have ever loved, Sonny. We had a whirl wind romance until he was involved in a Motorbike vs Truck hit and run 10 months ago, he was on the bike. As you can see most people I love die it's something I have come to foresee and won't let anyone close because of it the exception being Cara and Parker of course.

I wondered how they both managed me after I lost Sonny, I could barely function for the first few months after he passed but they got me back to a place where I could smile again, where I didn’t feel guilty for waking up every morning when he would sleep forever. I owed them both so much, even something as small to me as my birthday, they made me want to enjoy it if only to make them happy that they are trying to make me happy. It is the only way I can start to repay them for just being there and making me human.

“Present time.” Parker laughed interrupting my thoughts as he ran and jumped on my lap with a now clean face, washed hair and a wide toothy grin. “Aiight big man, what did you get me?” I said with a small smile, one day I would start to smile big and without guilt like I used to but for now they were just small slight smiles that never reached my eyes, even I knew that, it hurt too much and makes me feel deader inside but how could I be happy when everyone I had ever loved minus the two with me had died. With a small chuckle Parker pulls his hands out from behind his back and hands me a white package with a child’s drawing on it.

“Aw Parker, this is the best present in the whole wide world.” I exaggerated with a wink while Cara looked on with a giggle.

“Nooo. It's inside.” Parker said with a slight frown. I shook my head calling myself silly before carefully pealing back the drawing ‘wrapping paper’. Inside was a black screen-printed tee, Cara had obviously helped make, with Parker’s hand and foot print in blue printed in the middle of the chest and red words that said, ‘I have the bestest nephew in the whole wide world’. The corners of my lips pulled into another small smile. “I've never read anything so accurate.” I said giving him a hug as I looked at his drawing on the table. It was a stick figure picture of him and I holding hands with a big yellow circle in the corner and several blue squiggly lines in front of us. It was very sweet. “I love it Parker, thank you.”

“Dat’s okay, Aunty Jadie. Wait ‘til you see mummies present. You’ll love that way more.” He smiled, and I smiled back but I arched my eyebrow in Cara’s direction.

“Shh. Parker, you will spoil it.” Cara said in a mock scolding.

“Time for bed, hey?” She sighed plucking him from my lap.

“But I don’t want to mummy, I’m not tired and Aunty Jade’s party isn’t finished until she gets your present.” He said with a pout spread across his whole chubby little face.

“You are going to daddy’s tomorrow, you don’t want to be too tired to play with the other kids, do you?” Cara said convincing him straight away reminding him that he will be seeing his brother and sister the sooner he goes to sleep. Finn had twins with his new girlfriend and Parker dotes on them like any proud big brother would.

I kissed him goodnight and started to clean up. I took Parker’s drawing and hung it with others from over the years along with my band postures. Not one part of my walls were bare, between photos of Cara, Parker and I, old photos family and boyfriend and hundreds of drawings I had collected from Parker, although my posters took up a fair portion of the room. My music collection is wildly diverse but the posters on my wall showed all my big favorites from the age of 14. My mum was big into music as I was growing up, the house was always full of music that she liked while and I attached to a lot of it, I play them now to remind me of the music appreciation my mum always taught me. Most of my poster collection consisted of Black Sabbath and Alice Cooper to a little bit of Guns’N’Roses and Skid Row. Of course, I have the modern talents as well like Sleeping with Sirens, Motionless in White, The Pretty Reckless, Falling in Reverse but my favorite band merch was a screen print canvas that Sonny had made for me, Black Veil Brides band picture with lyrics on it;

_‘Never give in,_

_Never back down, when your life feels lost,_

_Never give up’_

I switch my light off as I go back to the kitchen to do the dishes as I hum the song, as far as birthday’s go I was happy with mine, Cara and Parker did a good job of distracting me from remembering the sad parts of my birthday. I hear Cara finish up reading Parker his bedtime story and kiss him goodnight before I hear her footsteps enter the kitchen behind me.

“Surprise!” She said making me turn to face her while she holds out a red envelope.

_***Cara’s POV*** _

A 21st is supposed to be full of partying and laughs with family and friends. It's supposed to be one of the most memorable nights of your life - at least plenty of photographs to piece together the memories you lost cause of alcohol- not bad memories keeping you from enjoying the moments you still get. Jade hasn’t been able to enjoy the big or small moments in her life for a very long time, the hits just kept on coming and I have watched them burn her over and over again.

She hasn't had it easy in her 21 yrs. I had never seen a person so empty as Jade when she lost her parents. Her mum, who was a music teacher, taught her passion for music and her dad taught her to be herself to be happy about being an individual. When she lost them, she lost her identity and music just seemed to cause her pain. I was there for her when she woke with nightmares of burning car wreaks every night, I stayed up with her when the dreams scared her so much she wouldn’t sleep for days, I cleaned and patched her up all the times the pain in her heart got too much and she took it out on her skin. It just worsened when Sonny died, her fear just got more intense she would have anxiety attacks getting into a car and put off getting her license for as long as she could; even now that she does drive she is in constant fear of crashing. Jade’s self-abuse got worse too, she thought that everyone she loved would die so she stopped loving, she would pick fights with me just, so I would stop loving her thus keeping me safe; it never worked. The hardest was when she actually tried to kill herself, you can’t worry about people you love dying if your already dead.

With the bad came the good, the amazing. We were two giggly sisters in girly heaven (despite her very bad bitch/tom boy personality) as we shopped for her prom dress together, I hustled her date like an over protective father when he came to pick her up and I stood tall like a proud mother as I watched her receive her year 12 certificate. I have been every part of family she has needed me to be and the best friend she could bitch to when she wanted. It hasn’t all been one way either, she was there when my father fell sick and passed from lung cancer six months later. Jade had her hand crushed by me in the delivery room when Parker came along, was my shoulder to cry on when it became inevitable that Finn and I weren’t going to work out, she baby sat Parker during the day while I was at Uni, goes to art school in the afternoons; studying to be a tattoo artist, before working night shifts as a bartender at a club that Finn owns to help pay the bills. When I get overwhelmed or stressed out because of school she helps motivate me, she takes Parker when I need study time and her and Parker distract me when she knows I need to release some pressure from myself.

No matter what happened in our lives’ we know that the other will always be there us, no question, no argument. Jade isn’t just my best friend she is my family, my ride or die bitch as she calls it; I tell her she watched to many movies. As her best friend it is my responsibility to make sure that the pain stops hurting so much and help her to smile and laugh and begin to actually live.

I hold my gift out to her barely containing my own excitement because I know that what is inside will mean more to her then anything I could have possibly given to her.

“Well take it.” I said wavering the red envelope in front of her face while she looked at it as if it may frame her for some horrible crime.

“Jade, stop being a little bitch and take the envelope.” I laughed.

“What’s in it?” She asked wary and I rolled my eyes at her.

“Cara.” She starts with a sigh her expression changing to one of sadness. “You don’t have the money to be buying me presents.”

“Jade, Shut up. Take the envelope.” I ordered though my smile didn’t budge. Jade wiped her hands on her shirt before she ever so gently took the card as if it would burst into flames any second, as she pulled the card from the paper sleeve two folded up bits of paper fell to the ground at her feet.

“My Best Friend, My Sister, I know you aren’t looking forward to your birthday. You will miss those who can’t be here to celebrate this mile stone with you but no matter what I am here, and we must celebrate it bigger than ever. Happy Birthday, I love you chickee and it's time we take on the world.” She read out loud, the sad look turning to one of love and respect, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Jade bent down picking up the object of my excitement and it took every nerve in my face to keep it straight. Her eyebrows shoot up and her deep green eyes flew wide; a look of disbelief painted all over. I broke then, the laughter forcing itself out.

“L.A?” Her voice barely a whisper. “Los fucking Angeles?” She exclaimed her voice jumping to a higher, more excited decibel.

“Well I'm pretty sure ‘fucking’ isn't in the name but yep L.A!” I smile wildly. I moved one hand to my back pocket and pulled out two bits of thin cardboard. “We need to go there to see this.” I said passing them to her.

Jade’s jaw dropped and started shaking her head as her hands started to shake; nope that was her whole body. Jade looked up at me with a smile I hadn’t seen in the longest time. “Is this a joke?” She whispered happy tears falling down her cheeks.

“Would be a pretty horrible joke,” I pointed out laughing my ass off at her reaction; why the hell wasn’t I recording this?

“Oh, my fucking god! Are you telling me we are going to L.A?” She asked her voice returning to an excited level but still calm as I nodded my head. “And we are going to L.A to see Black Veil Brides, in concert?” The excitement got a fraction more as she spoke and when I nodded her head again I was wrapped up in a bone crushing hug as she squealed into my shoulder. “Cara, I don’t even have words.” Jade stuttered as she let go of me and looked down at the tickets in her still shaking hands. “Why did you do this?”

“When your mum died music became your enemy,” I started to explain the story behind my decision to get her this gift. Jade took a step back sitting at the table as her expression turned instantly from happy to sad and hung her head under the weight of the sudden emotion. “I remember before your parents died, you weren’t you if you didn’t have music, the way you would know the lyrics to songs you liked and would just belt them out as if they were a second language. The way you would dance around while you were cleaning using the broom as your microphone, you were always so carefree as long as there was a tune to listen to. The way you and your mum could talk for hours about different genres of music and the inspiration it provoked, it was amazing. Jade, when they passed you didn’t listen to music if you could help it for almost a year, you would walk out of a room if music was playing or you would just sit and cry. You said it just sounded like white noise, it killed me to see that, it was like a part of you was missing or had died. I will never forget the day I came home and heard Black Veil Brides blasting from your speakers, I almost cried when I walked in and found you hanging those photos and posters on your wall singing “Lost It All” like you used to.” By the time I finished my story I was sitting across the table from her holding her hand as she looked at me, her green eyes full of love and tears.

“Mum would never have wanted me to turn my back on music, she would never forgive me for forgetting her by forgetting music.” She said quietly repeating the words she had said to me that when she caught me watching from the doorway. “But Cara, this… this is huge.” She said to me holding up the tickets.

“It’s actually from Finn too, we were trying to think of something to get you and he said it was too bad there was no concerts coming up soon, then I remembered you telling me about the ‘Black Mass Tour’. I told him about it and he wanted to be part of it to. I got a week off of school and work and well Finn is your boss so that didn’t even need a conversation and your school is on holiday’s right now.” I problem solved before she could come at me with any excuses as to why this can’t happen.

“What about Parker?” Jade asked and I just looked at her as if she was an idiot to which she laughed. “Finn is looking after him.” She answered herself as I nodded. “When are we leaving?”

“The day after tomorrow.” I replied. Jade shot up and wrapped me in another hug.

“Thank you so much, I love you.” She smiled sweetly before squealing slightly again and running to her room. “I have to pack!” I laughed shaking my head, in almost 10 months I hadn't seen my best friend smile so much in a short amount of time and I was so proud that I had done that.


	2. Los Angeles

_***Jade POV*** _

I couldn't possibly sleep if I tried, every single part of my body was a wreck of nerves. Honestly, I was still in a slight state of shock. The next morning, I woke up and instantly remembered what the night before had brought. I was awake before Parker even and believe me when I say that NEVER happens, my excitement had me up at 6 on the dot and I spent the whole morning vibrating with energy to get out and do shopping for L.A. I could not believe it, I was going to L.A with my best friend and I was going to see my favourite band. I couldn’t remember a time when I was happier. I flittered around the house talking to, more like at, Cara all about how amazing Black Veil Brides were; as if I hadn’t told her that like a thousand times.

“I showed mum a voice isolation of ‘Rebel Love Song’ once, I thought she would hate it, but she liked it. She was impressed by how his deep voice seemed to cut straight through her mind and made it so he words painted an entire picture of what he was saying.” I bragged.

“You’re mum would never have hated it, she liked all music.” Cara said with a laugh as she helped Parker dress himself while I paced his room.

“There was music she wasn’t into, but she appreciated that, that was that person or bands individual sound.” I argued.

“Mum, is Aunty Jade starstruck?” Parker asked but it sounded more like he said ‘scartruck’ we both laughed, he had heard us saying that before every time I would watch ‘Legion of the Black’

“Very!” She laughed tickling her son. “And if we don’t get you ready for dad’s and out the door soon I think Aunty Jade may just leave without us.” I nodded dangling Cara’s keys in mock impatience.

“At least she would be driving.” Parker said happily but instantly my face fell and Cara looked up at me. I had gotten better about being behind the wheel, but I was still too scared of crashing that I wouldn’t drive if Parker was in the car.

“Well your all dressed and packed are you ready to go to dad’s?” Cara asked ignoring Parker’s comment, not that he had noticed that anything had happened. Parker called a very enthusiastic yes and we were in the car a few minutes later.

It ended up being a pretty insane day, Cara had almost started bawling when we dropped Parker at Finn's. She has never spent more than two nights away from him since the day he was born and now she was going to be gone for a week; in a whole other country. I thanked Finn for his contribution to the world’s greatest present. Despite the fact that Cara and Finn didn’t work out as a couple the three of us were pretty close friends, it helped that I work with him and that their split was nothing that anyone had done or something that could had even been avoided, it just was. When he had met his new girlfriend and she fell pregnant, we were the first once he told and both of us have never been happier for him then we were that day, his girlfriend Imogen and he were perfect together.

After Finn’s we went to the Shopping mall making sure everything we had the proper currency exchange, making sure we activated International roaming, so we could contact home and of course we had to buy new clothes for the occasion. I have saved up so I will never have to get student loans -they will bury you in debt- but I also had a reserve savings just in case I found things I really like. Like the purple and black figure hugging dress and black strap heels I bought to go out with Cara clubbing on our last night. I also got light blue ripped and frayed jeans -fashionably of course- mini shorts and a new Batman shirt as my old one was getting tattered, which took a while. It was hard for me to find clothes that fit cause I had an hour glass figure with a small amount of flab on my belly, finding shirts that were long enough to completely cover my stomach while not being pulled up by my breasts were difficult. It was the same with my jeans, I have an average sized ass but thick legs. I'm not one of those girls with the thigh gap. 

Cara and I spent the rest of the afternoon dancing around listening to music as we packed for the trip.I packed my black BVB band singlet to go with my black skinny jeans and my bullet belt, which I planned to wear to the concert with my leather jacket and my black high heel boots finished with buckles. A black 'Misfits' band tee with my grey wash ripped skinnies and black vans. My white 'Sons of Anarchy' singlet with light blue denim boot leg jeans with my red high-top converse. I packed a boob-tube sun dress with a rainbow skirt partnered with roman sandals just for LA shopping. I made sure that I packed all my makeup, my straightener and my curler. I never used to care about this stuff, I was always a tomboy kind of person who wore wife beaters and black jeans with Etnis, but I guess everyone changes.

\Cara had already organized accommodation bookings when she bought the tickets and booked our flights, I still couldn’t believe she had planned this whole thing for months and I had no idea, the even more unbelievable thing was that she had managed to keep it a secret for so long. It was 4:30 am and we needed to be up at 5am to be at the airport at 6am and on the plane at 7am. I was tired from the hectic day and I knew I should sleep but there was no way I could I was way too excited, like a kid on Christmas eve waiting up for Santa. I spent the night in my ‘Stoner’ den as Cara called it, a detached tool shed the size of a small granny flat with a toilet. After Sonny died Cara had spend two days doing it up with printed Rasta flags and posters, it was like another lounge room with a large L shaped couch, coffee table, TV and sound system, it was the place I came to be alone, smoke and draw.

*****

After almost 16 hours we finally arrived at LAX, I looked around with huge wide eyes trying to take it all in, but I thought even if I had just stayed at the airport for the entire week I still wouldn't have been able to take it all in. The place was massive and was packed with so many people we couldn't see the front door through the crowd. Cara and I clutched each other’s hands, so we wouldn't get separated as we made our way through customs and baggage claim. As the customs officer was checking our bags Cara and I joked about going back in time, as we had left at 7am in the morning from Australia but we had arrived in California at 1pm the previous day. "First time in Cali?" The officer asked with a strong accent though I suppose to her we were the ones with the accent.

"First time out of Australia." I replied my excitement still making my heart beat fast and I don't think Cara has stopped laughing at my kid-in-a-candy-store look since she gave me the tickets. "What are you here for?" The officer spoke again still making sure there was nothing contraband in our luggage.

"Pleasure. It was my 21st the other day and my best friend got me tickets to a concert." I replied politely pointing to where Cara was being searched at the cubicle behind me. “That’s a long way to come just for a concert.” The lady laughed.

"It’s a very important concert." I replied seriously, the customers officer looked at me like I was nuts, but I couldn’t contain my smile.

“They are her favourite band.” Cara explained.

“Well, enjoy your stay girls.” The officer said handing back our bags and directing us to the taxi rank at the front of the airport. The cab ride to our nice but affordable accommodation took 15 mins, we were so busy staring out the windows up at the buildings and shops as we drove by we barely realized any time had passed at all.

We checked in and made our way to the third floor where our room was. It was wonderful, there was two queen sized beds with a small bed-side table separating them. A huge 50'' tv mounted on the wall across from the beds and a desk under it for work or to eat at. There was a separate room for kitchen and the dining room that was equipped with a double door fridge and dishwasher. The bathroom was big with a two-person spa bath and a wall-length mirror. The two of us were virtually breathless as we took the tour of the room and like the 14 yr. old girls at heart that we are we ran straight back to the bedroom and jumped from one bed to the other. We finally collapsed into a fit of giggles before deciding to stretch our legs and take advantage of the pool and sauna facilities.


End file.
